The Plumbline

FAT BOY BILLY

“Three months lumpy,” said the doctor. “That’s how long you’ve got to do somethin’ about your LDL cholesterol or you’ll be swallowin’ another expensive pill every mornin’. Your good cholesterol is phenominal. But the bad stuff will kill you.” Today, 18 January 2010 I began my fourth attempt at meaningful weight loss. I know you girls don’t much like to talk about your weight. “Vanity of vanities; all is vanity.” But I don’t care. So I’ll cut to the chase:

Age- 56
Sex- Male
Weight- 213.8
Height- 5’- 8”
LDL cholesterol- 130
HDL cholesterol- 89
Chest- 46
Waist- 48
Hips- 46
Bra size- 46 AAA

Most of the bad things that happened to me over the years were of my own doing. Some folks have medical conditions that cause their weight problems and they need to be given some slack. Not me. I am a fat boy because I chose to be a fat boy. I don’t have a disease, I am not a victim, and I wasn’t born that way. To evoke Invictus, “I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.”

I was a pudgy kid when I was small. By the time I turned 10 I was skinny and I stayed that way a long time. When I was 13 years old I thought I could impress the girls if I was heavier and maybe had some muscles. So I started lifting weights and ordered a box of “super weight-on wafers” I’d read about in a muscleman magazine. Every morning I’d drink a quart of chocolate milk and eat two packages of chocolate-covered cream-filled cup cakes. Lunch was usually fried chicken or something equally good for me (To see young Fat Boy Billy, Google “Bacon Is Good For Me” and watch the video) and usually followed by half a carton of ice cream. Supper was no different. And then came the late night snack. We had plenty to eat because my grandfather owned Bateman Food Stores in Macon. But nothing worked. The only thing I gained was a pimply face. I was a skinny kid until I was about forty-seven years old and my metabolism slowed appreciably. Then, in the words of my old friend Bill Sutlive, I had “filled out nicely.”

My first attempt at weight loss was in 2003 using the Adkins diet. That worked great until my penchant for pasta overwhelmed me and I decided to have a big plate of lasagna. My second try was 16 February 2004 when I weighed a mere 198. I bought a spiral note book, taped a profile of me and my fat belly on the inside cover, and started a calorie log. I’ve ultimately succeeded at most everything I’ve set my mind to do. Seven years ago I quit my three-pack a day cigarette habit—no pills, no patches, no gum. I just stopped smoking. I did because I decided to. I’d made half-hearted attempts several times before, but until I made up my mind and really decided, it was never going to happen. If I’m ever advised that I have a terminal illness I’ll start smoking again because I like it but that will be my choice. I am not addicted to nicotine. I am not a victim. I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul. But resolving to rein in my unhealthy eating habits has proven to be more difficult than giving up smoking.

That day in February I consumed 1408 calories. I’d decided to keep my daily calorie intake below 1500. I bought “The Complete Book Of Food Counts” by Corinne T. Netzer to help me plan my meals. I liked my diet because I could eat whatever I pleased, in moderation of course. And it worked. On 17 March I weighed 179; in one month I’d lost 19 pounds. I rewarded myself by going to The Sugarshack and having a banana split. Thus began my upward spiral and by April I was back to 184.5. By 6 February 2006 I’d happily eaten my way to the pinnacle of my obesity. I weighed 215.5. Wife Veronica took another profile shot and I compared it to the one taped to the notebook. Not much difference there, I thought, just a little more gray in the beard and a little less hair on the head. I begrudgingly taped the new photo much difference there, I thought, just a little more gray in the beard and a little less hair on the head. I begrudgingly taped the new photo on the page next to the last log entry and so began my third attempt. It didn’t take long before I’d perpetrated another miserable failure.

So today I began my current endeavor by getting out my Fat Boy Log Book and making the beginning entry. Yesterday was Sunday. Gary and Sue Bentley came for lunch and to enjoy with us my last fat-laden meal I plan to eat for the foreseeable future. I have the original recipe for Fettuccine Alfredo and I decided to try it out on the Bentleys. The dish was created in Italy around the turn of the last century by restaurateur Alfredo Di Lelio and involves a pound of fettuccini, a half pound of butter and a half pound of Parmigiano Reggiano cheese. We also had chicken with asparagus sauce which includes a pint of heavy cream reduced to a half cup.

As I was taking my last bite of fettuccini a pain hit me in the lower abdomen that was so intense I thought I would faint. The next several hours found me in the bathroom with a cold towel on my forehead. Much of that time was spent writhing around on the floor in a cold sweat praying for mercy. I guess I went into fat overload and my body was trying to tell me something about healthy eating. I was unable to attend the first annual Tybee Times party that night because of my indiscretion. This time around I’m not going on a strict low calorie regimen. I’ll just try to lay off the fat and sugar so much and start a regular exercise program. Maybe it’ll work. Maybe the fourth time is a charm. I’ll keep you posted.

Bill

Boot Camp ADVENTURES!

So how is everyone’s “New Year” coming along?

It is always good to start off the year by trying to do something different than the previous year.  It’s also hard to change old habits and sometimes January 1st comes and goes and we are still making excuses not to exercise and that next Monday never comes.

I am one of the ones that always has an excuse for procrastination.  One of my goals this year is to stop dilly dallying and just keep myself moving.  It has been a real slow start this season and the cold weather has kept those vacation cottages a little more vacant than last year. For those of us that depend on tourism, January takes a bit of getting used to.  Seems like we go full force in the summer and then fall slows down a bit and once the holidays are over, the tourist are gone.

I do so much better when the pressure is on.  Don’t be surprised if you see me disappear this time next year for the month of January – just to get away for a while and try something different and be warmer – maybe I’ll work on another volunteer vacation somewhere.

By the way, I’ve made the decision not to go to Alaska this year – my wallet’s saying no.  June will be here before you know it and so will my money if I’d chose to go somewhere, so I’ve signed up for a volunteer vacation in Maui this September instead.  That gives me a lot more time to get the airfare saved up.

I will be going to Lao Valley National Forest to work in the rainforest for a week.  I’m so glad I have made the decision to do this with the National Hiking Society – gives me a lot to look forward to and I can travel and meet new people.  Maybe Alaska will happen next year.  Demery Bishop suggested I find 5 people to sponsor me and I kind of gave him a funny look, like okay.  He did offer to be the 6th sponsor if I could find 5 more, so any takers?

Now, back to Boot Camp! We have been at meeting in the Tybee gymnasium, Monday – Friday at 6:30 a.m, and I’ve changed it up to a 40 minute workout through the winter months.  We were inside last year through May, but I’m hoping if the warm weather ever comes and stays with us we can go outside on the beach again in March.  I have to say working out in the gymnasium is not at all any replacement for working out on the beach and having the sun rise.  Plus it’s really hard to work out with the heat on – it just makes it very uncomfortable for us to use that facility.  It’s also less exciting as you never know what you are going to see on the beach at 6:00 a.m.

We have seen an alligator, the Amish woman swimming with dresses on, huge trees swept up on shore after a big rain, beautiful sunrises with shrimp boats passing, and weddings, and of course those dolphin we all love. We do have the season of gnats, mosquitos and horse flies, but it is well worth it.

I seem to push myself more when we work outside.  There is just something about working out on the beach and there really are no words to explain it – if you haven’t tried it yet, please come join us this spring and try it at least once.  Remember, I do this for donations only and that helps with my business license, beach permit along and recertification.

Tari Marcou

I have met so many visitors’ to the island that come and work out with us and some of them become good friends.  This month we have a new visitor, Tari Marcou who is a Buckeye from Ohio State.  She has been visiting tor the past few months and likes it so much that she’s going staying through the month of February.  She is a Tour Guide, lives in Ohio and does tours in Washington, D.C..  In her time off Tari has the opportunity to travel.

Tari’s been attending lots of meetings here on Tybee and various Tybee functions.  You’ve probably seen her around the island with her dog, Molly.   She’s also been helping out with Polk’s Fresh Market on the weekends. Tari and Judy have kept me going this year, and no lollygagging.  They’re both there every morning before me.  Oh, yeah, Tari also rides her bike every morning.  Way to go girl. Welcome, Tari my new friend! I will be sad to see you go!

I’ll end now with a few tips for the month and I hope to have a lot more adventures to share with you this year.. Oooh Rahh.. and thank you for reading my column.

1. Commit to an exercise routine. This may seem like an obvious tip, but dedication to exercise is the single most important thing you can do to get fit in 2010. Attitude goes a long way when sticking with exercise, so decide to enjoy yourself.  After all, you ARE doing something wonderful for your mind, body and mind.
2. Scheduled workouts. Put your exercise time on the calendar along with your other important appointments.  You’ll be much less likely to bail on a workout session if you make time for it.
3. Work out with a friend. Find a friend with similar fitness or weight loss goals and partner up for your workouts. Exercising with a friend will not only help motivate you, but it will keep you interested and be way more fun than working out alone!
4. Treat yourself to new fitness apparel or gear. A new moisture-wicking gym shirt, running or cycling shorts, running shoes and/or a heart rate monitor will get you in the mood for fitness.
5. Vary your workouts. Get involved in different sports or activities. Don’t limit yourself to 30 minutes on the treadmill – get outside and run, ride, walk, play, surf, kayak or anything else that sounds like fun. There’s WAY more than one way to work out – and it never has to get boring!

Scarlett’s Letters – (Volume 3)

by Guest Writer, Scarlett Bailes

“Letters from Vietnam”
(Volume 3)

Scarlett Bailes

Traveling Vietnam has been a rewarding experience. The people here are a little less friendly than have been in my other travels but I have come upon a few small towns greeted by smiling faces and all the warmth that would be expected of a tiny village.

I began my journey through Vietnam in Hanoi, a bustling city far north, full of life, vivid colors, the roar of motorbikes and the humming of neon signs. The streets are heavy with food stalls and lively markets selling everything from fabric to dog parts.

I did some necessary shopping here and began eating my way through town…starting with goat udders, as mentioned in my last letter, then moved on to pigeon, duck embryo, snake wine and chicken feet, once satisfying the epicurious side of me I turned to more traditional dishes…mainly…Pho bo, this has become my favorite food, whether it be for breakfast, lunch or dinner, just a simple noodle dish garnished with basil, sprouts, lime, chili and thinly sliced beef. Anyways…I am eating normal again.

After pounding the streets of Hanoi I was in dire need of a more tranquil environment so I booked a junk boat to take me through Halong Bay. Immediately I could see why this place has been sacred to so many generations. Limestone formations jet out of the emerald green waters in every direction making for one of the most beautiful and serene surroundings I have ever witnessed. All I could hear was the sails in the wind and the occasional splash of water against the side of the junk cruiser. The only thing that could have made this place any nicer would have been perhaps a bit of warm weather and less wind. I spent my last day in Halong Bay kayaking and visiting some incredible caves.

After Halong Bay I was dropped back in Hanoi and booked a bus that would take me south. My first stop was Hue, this town was just brimming with history so I tried to get a bit of it in and visit some of the larger landmarks. I visited The Citadel, The Imperial Closure and The Forbidden Purple City, where I took part in a few forbidden activities.

First I snuck over an enclosure and around a gate to visit this beautiful bull elephant and then I snuck in the palace and tried on all the imperial clothing, it was stunning, and I was even able to get a few pictures before I got caught!

I had another day in Hue so I took a city bus to the DMZ where I was able to see some incredible tunnels that were built during the war as well as the Rock Pile and a few old military bases and camps. Some of the mountain tops here are barren, although once covered in dense vegetation, from the use of Napalm and Agent Orange, standing there now, listening to the birds and wind it’s hard to imagine that only a few short decades ago so many lives were lost here.

That evening I made my way to a town called Hoi An and wished I hadn’t. This town is serious trouble for any budget traveler, especially one who likes clothes. For a mile on both sides you are surrounded by expert tailors, you might be able to pass the first few without looking, but eventually you will concede. I bought dresses, shirts and even a beautiful pair of custom leather boots.

Once I got my shopping fix I was able to actually enjoy this quaint little city. Cobblestone streets wind through the town and the silk lanterns hung everywhere reflected a warm light against the roads then dampened by the steady afternoon drizzle. The main street leads to a nice river adorned with a beautiful covered bridge, a nice old man that looked like Mr. Miagi gave me a row boat ride for an hour for about 20 cent. This to me was the most charming town in Vietnam.

My next stop was Nha Trang, a beach town at last! I spent the first couple of hours lying lazily on the beach trying to get back the tan I had lost and then treated myself to a mineral mud bath, followed by a hot mineral soak and finally a hot mineral waterfall all leaving me super soft. The next morning I booked a trip to the nearby islands and the freak shows they offered. First was a show where the dressed some goats as newlyweds and had them pulled around by Dalmatians with a monkey for the driver. Then I got to ride an ostrich, which was a load of fun. Afterwards I went to Monkey Island where a bear in a tutu jumped rope and after all the excitement I saw the monkeys of the island. They were everywhere, in the trees, on the signs, to your left and right on the roads, all a little reminiscent of “The Birds” by Alfred Hitchcock, I was happy to leave this place.

I boarded my bus once again to head further south, My next stop was Mui Ne, I only had a day here so I used it up sledding down the giant red sand dunes, which in the rain, looked just like a giant pile of Georgia red clay. It was a lot of fun outside of the children who were in fact eager salesman and pick pockets. I paid them what I felt was fair for the use of their sleds and then headed back to the bus for a long trip to Saigon.

Saigon, not unlike Hanoi, was a busy city scene. The streets were packed and after all the peace I found in the other towns this was a little unsettling, still, it was just a jumping off point to get to the mighty Mekong Delta so I knew I wouldn’t have to endure too much of it. Just as in Hanoi, the street vendors constantly harass you…sunglasses? massage? pedicure? NO !NO !NO!

Once off the main streets, that are trimmed with Prada and Gucci shops, and down the alley ways you can still find old Saigon alive and well; Women tending to their elders, children playing, locals cooking food for their families and the constant hum of sewing machines, This was more of what I had envisioned.

Only a few hours up the road was the Mekong and it was exactly as I had hoped, floating markets were everywhere and the villages were all busy making whatever product they specialized in. I stopped in at one who made rice paper, rice wine , coconut candy and Honey…all delicious I would like to add. After sampling the local goods I went further up the river for lunch, it was almost an eerie kind of silence on the water, I half expected Colonel Kurtz to jump out at any minute , but it stayed peaceful and so did I. After my trip to the Mekong I went back to Hanoi and back to my terrible rat infested hostile where loud Europeans blasted techno till 5 am, the next day however I was treated by my boyfriend, on the other side of the world ,to a super posh night at a very exclusive hotel…I was able to bathe with warm water and actually really sleep for the first time in a month…thank you again baby!

The following morning I spent a few hours by the pool and then booked another leg of my trip to Rach Gia by bus and continuing by boat to Phu Quoc. This island is hands down the best spot in all of Vietnam. It’s a small, quiet island, surrounded by crystal blue water and white sandy beaches. It’s incredibly quiet and all the lodging in my area consist of small thatched bungalows, with hammocks outside and best of all they are right on the water. I’m a little sad I did not find this oasis earlier on in my trip but I suppose I would not appreciate it as much otherwise. So here I sit, with nothing but the sound of crickets and the ocean at my door, planning my next adventure and writing home. I can’t wait to see all of you again. I’ll write you from the Philippines.

XOXO
Scarlett

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It’s Trotter Time

On Love…

Dicky Trotter

À l’amour, the French have a way of making it sound romantic, to love. I often ponder the word love. Kinkel kept asking me what I was going to write about and I have written on four different topics, but tossed them all away. It’s the month of February so I thought I would discuss my understanding of the word love. At this moment in my life love means a few different feelings than before. There is that love that we have for another mate.

You would think at 55, after three wives and umpteen girlfriends that I would be an expert on the subject – far from it. I finally admitted about 5 years ago that I was ignorant about relationships and that I needed to take a sabbatical. It’s not that I am not good at the swooning part, certainly I am a huge romantic, could sweep um off their feet in the day. It’s just for 50 years I only believed it to be about the lust and attraction stage and that was it (typical male). Today I understand now more of the stage that I believe to be the most important in a relationship. Its the stage of mutual respect and admiration two people develop for each other.

Now there is the love we have for a child, family, pets or something we have created. I guess even the love I have for Tybee could fall in this category. This is a love for me that is hard to put into words. It’s a undying feeling. A more of a unconditional love for me. The Native Americans have a saying, Uma ta wona slee…….lol, gotcha. Cant believe you think I know Indian, lol. Seriously, they do say that a child is a gift from Wonka Tonka (their power) to the people. A miracle and I feel the same way about my children, they are a gift.

Then there is the love that we have for another human being. This is the one I am really working on lately and I am finding out that I believe this one may be the key. My father used to tell me growing up that love was the opposite of fear. Back then I did not understand what the hell he was talking about.  Now I am slowly beginning to understand. It wasn’t until recently when I started practicing the action of love for other people did it begin sink in. I see that when I got angry or jealous with someone it was usually over me not getting what I wanted – I was fearful of losing something. Now when I show love (because I do believe love is an action) to people I am not fearful anymore and I have a faith that I am always going to get what I need.

I have found when I can change my attitude every person, place and thing changes. I have a totally different change in attitude and outlook on life today and I am so grateful for that.

There is a list of ten suggested things I read every morning to remind me of what makes me happy and I will share them with you – Give something away; do a kindness; give thanks always; work with vim and vigor; pray to know God’s way; visit the elderly and learn from their experience; look at the face of a baby and marvel; laugh often – its life’s lubricant; plan as though you will live forever – you will, but live as though today is your last day on earth.

My advise is – I guess you’d say, “what’s working for me, today” is – tell the people you care about that you love them, show the people you don’t like some love, and dance naked in the rain every chance you get.

Dicky Trotter……. Love Guru, lol

“If a tree falls in the woods, Dicky will make sure you hear about it.”

By the way – Something organic, tasty and unique is coming to Tybee….. Sugar Peas!

Dicky Trotter is a professional marketing consultant who owns Trotter Promotions.
Contact him at 912-665-4488. Visit him on the web at: trotterpromotions.com, or email
him at dickyt1954@yahoo.com.

Out Of The Box

Mary Anne Street

So, the holidays are over and we’re into the cold, dead months of winter. I’m sure many of you love February, but I don’t. After all of the hub-bub of the holidays, Jan. and Feb. can seem boring and dreary.

Here are some ways to add a little sparkle and have something constructive to do.

Coming up on Tybee:

Feb. 12th & 13th enjoy Tybee’s Mardi Gras. There will be masks, parades, beads, live entertainment, and a ball. Visit the website to get the scoop. This SURELY won’t be boring.

Feb. 28th from 2-5 the Tybee Arts Association will offer a studio tour to see the work of the world renowned teachers and their students involved in the GA Seminars by the Sea Porcelain Painters Retreat on Tybee. You’ll get to watch the art in action, see how the art is done, see finished pieces, AND “get a peek at some of the most beautiful houses and condos on Tybee,” all for $8 ($5 if you are a Tybee Arts Association member). Your ticket will also include a drawing for 2 door prizes – a finished piece of porcelain art and an art piece by Rebecca Rice. Call 912.786.5920 for tickets and information.

March 3rd from 7:00-9:00 p.m. the Tybee Arts Association will present a Showcase of the finished art from the first round of classes of the Porcelain Painters. This is FREE and open to the public. Refreshments will be served. Come and view this fantastic art. Call 912.786.5920 for information.

I went to the YMCA on Tybee recently to start my workouts again (resolutions and all that). I hadn’t been in a while, and I was pleasantly surprised. The Y looks fantastic. It has freshly painted blue and white walls, the windows have new treatments, there’s a new floor, new equipment and they knocked out a few walls to make the place bigger. It’s cleaner, brighter, bigger and better! I understand that soon they’ll have a new rowing machine, too. I’ve belonged to several other Y’s in my lifetime and I’ll hold Tybee’s up to any of them. It’s pleasant and friendlier than any I’ve been in, and some of my long-term friendships that I’ve formed on Tybee began at this Y. If you haven’t been, give it a try.  You can get healthy, meet some people, learn new things, and generally feel better. It’s the best little deal on Tybee.

Cooking, Anyone?
Love food? Love eating it, smelling it and cooking it? Take a cooking class. Several places offer classes ranging from learning how to cook a really good pizza, to romantic Italian, to classes for kids. Here’s where to get information:

Kitchens On The Square – 38 Barnard St. – 912.236.0100 – they have a Lunch and Learn series which includes Southern cooking, Savannah cooking and Lowcountry cooking, and wonderful classes called Ladies Night Out. Classes also include a 10% discount on items purchased in their great store on the day of the class, and free shipping for tourists. Classes are about 90 min. each.

Kitchen Outfitters – 5500 Abercorn St. (Twelve Oaks Shopping Center) – 912.356.1117 – classes have names such as Savory Fish Supper for a Savannah Winter’s Evening, Nick’s Famous Pizza Class and Tropical Warmth for a Winter’s Evening. Damon Fowler, the food writer for the Savannah Morning News and author of several cookbooks also teaches several classes. Wines are almost always included. Most classes are 6:30-9:00 pm, and they also give a 10% discount on items purchased included. Most classes are 6:30-9:00 pm, and they also give a 10% discount on items purchased in their wonderful store on the day of the class.

Chef Joe Randall-Savannah Cooking School – 5409 Waters Ave. – 912.303.0409 – Chef Joe’s mission is to bring the great treasures of the coastal region as close to peoples’ homes as their own kitchens. His motto: put a little south in your mouth. Learn how to cook Savannah Red Rice, Sea Island Smothered Shrimp with Stone-ground Grits in classes with such titles as Creole Feast, the Cuban Dinner and Treasures from the Sea. He also serves wines. Most classes are from 6:30-9:30.

Culinary Cottage – cooking classes for children – 5702 Skidaway Rd. – 912.692.0105 – these “hands-on” cooking classes allow kids to explore new flavors and express their creativity. The classes venture into applying basics of chemistry, applying math and reading comprehension, and exploring nature’s bounty. “Culinary Essentials for Kids” is the current cooking series. They also offer cooking summer camps, parties and special programs with names such as Growing Gourmets (for ages 3-5) and Young Chefs. Spice up your February and try one of the above; better yet, try them all!
Mary Anne

You may contact Mary Anne at tybeeconcierge@tybeevacationremtals.com

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